What Does “Elope” Mean?
If you decided to elope or are even considering it, you’re very likely going to get questions along the lines of, “What does elope mean?” and “What exactly is an elopement?” when you announce it to your loved ones.
The unfortunate reality is that many people still don’t understand what an elopement is, many have an outdated idea of what it means, and some think eloping is selfish (it isn’t!).
Interestingly, the very literal definition of “elope” has changed quite a bit in recent years. Where it once meant, "to runaway and secretly get married” (likely where the whole idea of it being ‘selfish’ originated!), today, even the official Merriam-Webster dictionary defines eloping as “shifting towards a small destination wedding.”
Even with that definition, however, it can be tricky explaining an elopement. How many people is “small,” for example, and is an elopement different from a wedding? This guide is going to answer those questions, along with many others!
How many people is considered an elopement?
Every elopement photographer defines this slightly differently. For me personally, I consider an elopement up to 15 guests. In my experience, once you have more than that, the experience is much more like a traditional wedding and less of an adventure elopement.
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, for couples who are truly seeking the experience of an intimate, intentional, tradition-bucking elopement, it’s important to keep the guest list lower than 15 people.
If you’re struggling to whittle that number down, consider eloping and then having a larger wedding reception later.
What is needed to elope?
The best part about eloping is that you don’t need much at all. The only firm requirements are the two of you, a great elopement photographer to document your big day (that’s me!), a location meaningful for you as a couple, and in some cases, an officiant, witnesses, and/or a Special Use Permit (such as with national parks).
Every state has vastly different marriage requirements when it comes to this. For example, Alabama doesn’t require any witnesses and Colorado permits self-solemnization, which actually legally allows a dog to be the officiant! If you’re looking for one of the easiest places to elope, check out this guide!
Note that regardless of where you elope, you will still need a marriage license to make it legal. Many couples choose to apply for their license in the state they elope in, but some opt to do it in their home state and treat their elopement as more of a commitment ceremony. That’s one of the best things about eloping — there’s no single “right” way to do it!
As a quick recap, here’s a checklist of what you need to elope:
An elopement photographer
An epic location
A marriage license (requirements vary by state)
Possibly an officiant
Possibly witnesses
Possibly a Special Use Permit, depending on the location you choose
Are there any disadvantages of eloping?
Admittedly, I’m a bit biased, but I truthfully don’t think there are any disadvantages to eloping. Having said that, there are a few things to be aware of and take into consideration as you’re deciding whether or not an elopement is right for you.
Disapproval - As I touched on earlier, some people will simply never warm up to the idea of an elopement. Whether they don’t understand it or had a specific vision of their own for your wedding, it’s not at all uncommon for others to have their feelings hurt when someone decides to elope. Remember that it’s ultimately your decision and there are several fun, unique ways to include loved ones in your elopement!
Confusion about etiquette - There are some long-standing, black-and-white etiquette rules regarding traditional weddings, but not so much for elopements. For example, should you set up a gift registry or have a bachelor/bachelorette party? Again, this isn’t “bad” by any means, but it’s something to consider and plan for.
Being at the mercy of Mother Nature - Most traditional wedding venues offer a “rain backup,” an indoor or sheltered alternative in the event of bad weather. When you’re eloping in nature, that typically isn’t possible, so you’ll just have to roll with the punches. With that in mind, some of my personal favorite elopements have been when a storm came in without warning or a huge gust of wind blew unexpectedly.
Do elopement marriages last?
In the long-term, an elopement marriage is absolutely no different than a marriage that starts out with a traditional wedding. As long as both people are committed to the relationship through thick and through thin, for better or worse, an elopement marriage can easily last forever.
Do brides regret eloping?
I can honestly say that I have never met a bride (or groom, for that matter!) who regretted eloping — whether it was a couple I personally shot or otherwise. In fact, I believe that because the decision to elope comes along with so much intention and love, you could strongly argue that couples regret it far less often than traditional weddings!
If you’re still unsure, check out what some of my past couples say about their experience:
“The whole experience was more than I could have asked for.” - Shannon + Iaian
“She captures everything so beautifully and really makes the session so fun and enjoyable. […] She’s an amazing choice. Book her, you’ll fall in love with the memories she captures.” - Bree + Chase
“We really could not have imagined a better photographer to capture our elopement in Big Sur. […] If you want an incredibly caring and talented photographer for your big day, hire Bethany.” - Courtney + Ben
Should I elope?
Of course, I’d love to tell you YES, you should 100% elope! However, the truth is that I can’t make that decision for you — and no one else can, either. It’s up to you as a couple to take everything into consideration based on your personal preferences and circumstances, and ultimately choose between eloping or having a traditional wedding.
What I can do is reiterate everything we’ve covered here. I truly don’t believe you’ll ever regret the decision to elope, there are really no downsides to eloping, and it’s one of the most intentional, thoughtful, loving, and meaningful ways to get married. Plus, there are so many ways to personalize your elopement and even include loved ones (like I said, no downsides!)!
The bottom line is this: if you want an intimate, stress-free, non-traditional wedding day experience you’ll remember fondly for the rest of your lives, without any of the “blur” feeling that typically comes with a traditional wedding, you should absolutely elope.
Ready to plan your adventurous, stress-free elopement?
I hope this guide helps answer the question, “What does elope mean?” More than that, I hope it helps you gain clarity about whether or not eloping is right for you. Wherever you are in the process, I’d love to chat and answer any lingering questions you may have. Hit that contact button below and let’s start the conversation!
